Reflections on the End of an Era

I think there is often a general assumption that because you make a decision that you’re at peace with, all is well. You’re happy you made it, so move on along now.

Change is a death, really. And it’s hard. Even when you know it’s what’s best. Even when you know good things are approaching.

Coming to the decision to leave the classroom was not made lightly. It had been building for some time and became clear to me over the past few months. Sometimes you just know a door is closing and you have to lean in and listen to what God is directing you to next. There was a huge weight lifted when I made the decision and resigned. But I have been grieving in spite of that relief.

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

When I think back over the past nearly 15 years, particularly when it comes to the students I’ve had the incredible honor to serve, it’s hard to imagine not doing this anymore. I’ve built life-long relationships with many of those kids. I’m watching them graduate from college, get married, have kids of their own, and take the world by storm. How amazing is it that I got to be a small part of what got them to this new place? Very.

And that is ending now. My heart hurts that I won’t get to watch those sweet juniors I worked with this year finish it out and hit the world running.

The other side of that is at least I got to have that time with them, however short. So many of those kids profoundly changed me and I’m incredibly thankful for that.

The same can be said for the absolute world-class educators who have taught me how to do this incredibly hard job. They have truly been placed in my path to show me what self-sacrifice, dedication, and love look like in a classroom. What a life-altering gift I was given to watch them over the years.

That’s a loss. I’m leaving it behind.

My hope is that my family, friends, and soon-to-be-former colleagues will give me a little grace while I sort through it all. It may mean that I do or say things in the process that don’t make sense. I likely can’t even articulate why I feel the way I do.

And while I know good things are coming, I need just a minute to say goodbye to something I loved so very much.

Photo by Rubén Rodriguez on Unsplash